In a world where the fear of appearing weak or insecure looms large, many people hesitate to ask questions. However, communication expert Matt Abrahams argues that the act of inquiring can actually elevate your status and sway opinions, provided you know the right questions to ask.

As a lecturer at Stanford University, Abrahams emphasizes that asking thoughtful questions positions you as a leader. “I can actually raise my status and lower your status when I ask a challenging question,” he explains to CNBC Make It. This shift in dynamics demonstrates care, empathy, and a willingness to learn—qualities that are essential for career growth and strengthening relationships.

Effective leaders often navigate the delicate balance of credibility and humility, which fosters better connections with colleagues. However, not all questions are created equal. Abrahams insists that understanding the how, when, and why of your inquiries is crucial for building influence.

Crafting the Perfect Question

According to Abrahams, good questions share three key characteristics:

• Conciseness: Keeping your questions brief helps maintain the listener’s focus.
• Relevance: Build on what the other person has said to further the conversation, rather than simply summarizing.
• Focused Intent: Center your question around the main idea or “bottom line” of the discussion.

“It can have multiple purposes, but it should be quick, clear, and focused enough so people understand the point I’m trying to make,” he notes.

Before posing a question, consider your intention. Are you aiming to show empathy, express interest, or gently guide the other person’s perspective? Abrahams warns against asking questions merely for participation points in meetings, as thoughtless inquiries can lead to eye-rolls from colleagues.

Practicing Questioning Skills

Mastering the art of asking questions requires practice. Abrahams suggests treating casual interactions like interviews, where the goal is to learn more about the other person or the topic at hand.

To refine your conciseness, consider using artificial intelligence tools like chatbots to rephrase your questions. Gathering feedback from trusted colleagues after meetings can also provide valuable insights into how your questions were received.

Above all, effective questioning starts with active listening. “Anytime you are listening, you’re doing yourself a service. You are showing the other person you’re here,” Abrahams states. This collaborative spirit enhances relationships and fosters long-term connections.

In an increasingly complex world, the ability to ask the right questions may be one of the most powerful tools for personal and professional growth. Embrace the art of inquiry, and watch as your influence expands.