With millennials now pushing 30 or older, the topic of marriage has been widely discussed on the internet and even general media in Indonesia. More and more of the younger generation, millennials included, of course, are choosing to marry later rather than sooner. Why is that?

The National Population and Family Planning Agency (BKKBN) recently chimed in with their “recommended age for marriage,” stating that the ideal age for marriage for women is 21 years old. Meanwhile, for men, the age is 25. 

Quoting the agency’s official Twitter page, they came to this conclusion based on these factors:

• Getting married at a young age when one is often emotionally immature may detrimentally affect how the parents raise their children.
• A ripeness in mental and physical age may affect a child's nutrition and health.
• An early marriage place a teenage woman at unnecessary health risks from early pregnancies.
• There is a higher risk of throat or cervical cancer among teenagers that have sex. 

The Indonesian government itself has never stated or regulated the ideal age for marriage in Indonesia. However, the government has previously issued laws regulating the minimal age for marriage among Indonesian citizens. 

This is stated in Law (UU) Number 16 of 2019 concerning Amendments to Law Number 1 of 1974 concerning Marriage. This regulation was issued during the reign of President Joko Widodo (Jokowi) on October 15, 2019.

In Article 7 paragraph 1 it is written that marriage is only permitted if a man and a woman have reached the age of 19.

Law 16/2019 renews the previous regulation, Law 1/1974, which states that marriages may be carried out by men aged at least 19 years and women at least 16 years old.

The change was made because it took into account Law Number 35 of 2014 concerning Amendments to Law Number 23 of 2002 concerning Child Protection.

According to the Child Protection Act, a child is defined as someone who is not yet 18 years old, including children who are still in the womb.

That way, the state considers that someone who is over 18 years old or starting from 19 years old can be categorized as an adult, so he is allowed to marry.

Healthwise, Marriage and Family Therapist at the Birmingham Maple Clinic in the United States Carrie Krawiec proposed the Goldilocks Theory as the ideal age for marriage. The theory suggests that the ideal marriage for both men and women is around 28 to 32 years old. 

This conclusion was reached based on surveys and research that found that people who get married at this age are the least likely to get divorced within the first five years. 

In short, this theory says the ideal age for marriage is not too old and not too young. Ages ranging from 28-32 years are considered the most ideal, and at an age where they are both emotionally mature enough to take the next big step.

This theory is also in line with a study by University of Utah sociologist Nick Wolfinger published by the Institute for the Study of Family and Time who discovered something similar in his studies. 

While we may sometimes associate marriages with lavish ceremonies or receptions, at the end of the day, marriage ideally should be between a couple who not only love each other, but are also emotionally, physically, and sometimes financially mature in order for it to work in the long run.