Raising children with autism is an adventure full of unique challenges, and for one mother, the journey has spanned over two decades. With three autistic children and three neurotypical ones, she learned through trial and error to adapt and create strategies that would ease the daily pressures of her household. Now, as her children grow, including her two middle daughters who work with children with autism, she’s sharing her most successful life hacks that have helped not only her family but others in similar situations.

Here are the seven life hacks that have made a world of difference:

1. The Lost Fairy
   The Lost Fairy is a whimsical way to help children with autism cope with losing things and avoid meltdowns. When a cherished item goes missing, instead of causing anxiety with repeated searching, the Lost Fairy takes it—only to return it once the child has forgotten about it or calmed down. This method has provided a sense of control and relief in moments of distress, especially when the item is ultimately found or replaced. Sometimes, the fairy even returns the wrong item, which can be humorously explained as a mistake.
2. Weird Powder
   A magical remedy for compulsive behaviors like skin picking, this "Weird Powder" is simply body powder with a tingly sensation. When a child felt overwhelmed by the urge to pick, a sprinkle of this powder would calm them, offering a distraction and soothing the behavior. This trick even traveled with the children to sleepovers and camps, where it became a favorite among caregivers who were amused by its name.
3. House Rule Number One
   In a household where multiple meltdowns could happen at once, the “House Rule Number One” became a lifeline: Only one person could be “freaking out” at a time. While it didn’t always work perfectly, it helped prevent escalation when one meltdown could trigger others. The rule offered moments of humor when one child, in the middle of a meltdown, would yell at another, reminding them it wasn’t their turn to freak out.
4. “I Am Autistic”
   Teaching children to identify and express their autism when they felt misunderstood was a powerful tool. When faced with social situations or judgmental comments, saying “I am autistic” gave them a voice and helped others understand their behavior. This practice also helped prevent misunderstandings, especially in encounters with strangers or even law enforcement, where such statements could diffuse potential conflict.
5. Pot Meet Kettle
   In more confrontational situations, this life hack is a game-changer. When dealing with rude or hostile individuals who misjudged a child’s behavior, parents could respond with, "My child has poor social skills because she is autistic. What’s your excuse?" This sharp comeback not only silences ignorant critics but also empowers the parent to stand up for their child in the face of unfair treatment.
6. Use Their Obsessions
   Children with autism often develop strong, focused interests that can be used to their advantage. Whether it’s superheroes or animals, these obsessions can motivate positive behavior. For example, a child who loves superheroes might be reminded to behave well at the movies by saying, “The X-Men will be disappointed if you don’t behave.” The key is to use their passions to encourage the right actions, turning obsessions into positive reinforcements.
7. Pick Your Battles
   One of the most important lessons learned as an autism mom is to choose your battles wisely. While some situations require firm discipline, others can be handled with a little flexibility. A perfect example: When a kindergarten teacher insisted on a child sitting in a yellow chair instead of a red one (her obsession), it led to a meltdown. By simply trading chairs with another child, the issue was resolved. Sometimes, letting go of minor battles helps avoid unnecessary stress for both parents and children.

These life hacks, born of love, patience, and a lot of creativity, have been invaluable tools for one mother navigating the complexities of raising autistic children. By embracing these strategies, she has not only helped her own family but continues to pass them along to other families facing similar challenges.